Feedback on comic wanted -- lay it on me

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Feedback on comic wanted -- lay it on me

Postby Chalker on Mon Nov 16, 2009 4:39 pm

Been creating an original comic for a while. Would love to receive any comments or advice regarding these 5 pencilled sequential pages. More art can be viewed at http://www.leighchalker.com or http://www.leighchalker.deviantart.com!

Cheers!

Leigh

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Chalker
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Re: Feedback on comic wanted -- lay it on me

Postby Tom on Tue Nov 17, 2009 7:56 pm

There's some pretty wild stuff going there!
Cool looking characters and some nice dynamic frames.
The main problem for me is that the backgrounds are too busy and swamping the foregrounds. It's only the pencils so it might work out with the inks but for the moment there are too many hard blacks in the incidental detail (like what ever the bearded guy is hiding behind).
I'd suggest simplifying your backgrounds and using heavier lines in your foregrounds. This will add a lot more depth to the images and let the viewer follow the action more easily.
Cheers,
Tom
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Re: Feedback on comic wanted -- lay it on me

Postby John Retallick on Tue Nov 17, 2009 10:30 pm

Good advice Tom. I'd agree. The strongest image for me as a reader (not a creator) are the first three panels from the last page and these seem to be the ones with less going on and more contruction within the panel to generate narrative ooomph (AKA drama)

Hope this helps.
J
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